“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters—yes, and even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26)

At first, this sounds extreme—even offensive. In a Jewish context, where honouring your father and mother was not just a cultural value but a commandment (Exodus 20:12), Jesus' words would have been shocking.

But Jesus is not contradicting the command to honour parents. He is using a well-known teaching method, common among Jewish rabbis: hyperbole—exaggeration to drive a point home. He’s saying that our love and loyalty to Him must surpass every other relationship, even the closest ones.

Bible scholar, Craig Keener explains:

“Hyperbole was a common pedagogical tool in rabbinic teaching. It was used not to deceive, but to drive home a point vividly and memorably.”
(The IVP Bible Background Commentary: New Testament, 1993)

Matthew’s Gospel offers a more interpretive version of Jesus’ meaning:

“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
(Matthew 10:37)

Either way, the point is clear: Jesus demands first place. Discipleship means He comes before family, comfort, security—even life itself.

This kind of discipleship requires more than just belief—it requires faith expressed through obedience. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote in The Cost of Discipleship:

“Only he who believes is obedient, and only he who is obedient believes.”
(p. 21)

Bonhoeffer’s words should remind us that faith and obedience are not separate experiences—they are inseparable. True belief results in a life of ongoing surrender to Christ. Discipleship isn’t just a one-time accepting of Jesus as Saviour—it continual follows Jesus as Lord and King.

Yes, following Jesus is a weighty decision. It will cost us our pride, our autonomy, and maybe even our comfort and relationships. But it is also the most life-giving decision we can ever make.